After breaking free of a failed marriage, the prospect of finding new love through dating can be very exciting. After all, you deserve to be happy and find new love! Depending on the stage of your blossoming relationship, you may be wondering if it's the proper time to introduce your new partner to your children. The decision is personal, but there are a few things to consider...
Regardless of your feelings toward your ex-spouse, they are still very much involved in your children's lives. Allowing your children to freely express how they feel about this new love interest in your life is important.
While you have moved on from the divorce, your children may still be struggling. Often times, children secretly hope for their parents to reconcile. When they realize that one parent is moving on, sometimes this understanding can create fear, stress, or even resentment. There are many ways you can gauge whether the timing is right, but one of the biggest factors is the age of your children.
Younger children may be extremely confused in the beginning of this new season. They are adjusting to new routines, possibly new homes or schools, along with living life split between parents. Introducing a new person into their lives right away will only add to the chaos. Keep your special someone separate from your children until you are sure they are adjusting well to all of life's other changes. At that point, you can reassess their progress to determine whether it's a good time to add a new person into their lives.
Older children may understand and adapt more quickly to these shifts, although this realization doesn't necessarily mean they are ready or willing to meet a your boyfriend or girlfriend. At the very least, talk to them when they are mature enough to have the conversation. Allow them to express their thoughts and concerns about the situation. Also, respect any hard boundaries they set. Remember, this is your new love interest, not theirs - make sure your expectations aren't too high.
Finding someone to do life with after divorce can be an exciting time! As a parent, it is important to understand that you can have a separate dating life outside of your home life. Your children need to feel secure in their "new" lives, before they can mentally or emotionally accept more changes. It's okay to take your time without feeling pressured to combine your private life with your family life. Trust your instincts and communicate with your children at a level they can understand.
Max Factor, Attorney at Law, P.A. focuses on divorce law, family law, and insurance law. They are based Tallahassee, Florida. Max Factor can help with divorce matters, child custody, alimony, mediation, separation, property division, child support matters, high-net worth divorce, and storm damage claims. He is licensed in the state of Florida and Georgia. To learn more about Max and his team, visit maxfactorlaw.com/contact_us/ and send us your information - we are here to help.